This blog has existed since 2006, but has only 27 posts all in all.

It reminds me of what I have been reading and observing all throughout my life. You may have lived over 80 years old, but only have lived life a couple of times in your life. So what is life all about? One agent of mine before told me something about life: “Boss, ang buhay hindi parahabaan, pasarapan! (Boss, life is not about the length, it’s about feeling good!).

A lot of people had died recently. Cory Aquino, Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, Ka Erdie Manalo and a couple of weeks ago, my father.

When I was at my father’s wake, amidst all the chaos, I thought if I died, how many people would come to my wake?

I know it sounds negative, but it really made me think. How many people would come for the sake of coming? How many people would come because they had something to tell me and they just want to get it out of their chest? Would people cry? Would my wife cry? Would my son miss me?

Over the past few years, I have been working for an industry that demands my time and demands performance (which company doesn’t right?). It pays really well, that is the main selling point for that industry. Night becomes day, day becomes night, people who just graduated gets more than the employees in other industries that has worked longer than they were in school. But that industry demanded too much of my time and energy that I can’t spend quality time with my family anymore. I want to emphasize on energy. Sure I always try to going home Honda (On the dot -- “Honda dot”). But I do not have the energy to spend time with my kid and my wife well enough t be called “quality time”. So I left.

I left the industry I came to love and the industry that taught me everything from presentations, MS Office, down to managing people PROPERLY. I left great people, a good site, and a good paying job. A lot of people were saying that I should just wait it out and eventually I would get the job that I wanted. Some say that I should not leave because I was already an institution in the company, having started it 2003.

I made a choice for my family and for myself. Yeah, I know I do not have the resources that I had before. I do not have the same ability to go anywhere I wanted to go on a Saturday night because I do not have the money to do that anymore. Yes, it sad to feel your buying power reduced to zero. But do you know what I realized tonight?

It does not matter if I am not a manager or a senior manager, I am a father.

I am where I should belong….

Been a while...

In a world where there is war, people die needlessly everyday. In a world where there is hunger, disease, pain, sorrow, it is really hard to find something pure in this world. Something that would lift yourself up from whatever ashes you came from. Something that would give hope to the masses. Something that would say "Hey, it will be alright".

When my wife said that she has something to show me in YouTube, I just said "OK". No biggies, just another good video. She was all excited about it. When we got home, I just lied down in bed and she loaded the video. It was the video from Britain's Got Talent. Conny, a six year-old girl, sings Somewhere Over The Rainbow. I just thought hey, I've watched my share of that, kids singing sweet songs. The moment I heard her voice, I was stunned. I felt light crying, but I think I was too shocked that some of of my bodily functions are not working well. She was really good. I mean really, really, really really, REALLY GOOD! I know it's a cliche, but her voice was of an angel. It was pure, from heaven, from God. She made feel that I was not worthy of hearing her voice. It made me feel unpure, but at the same time she was cleansing me. I hardly say nice things about stuff that I see or hear. But this one is really way up my list of things I want to hear again before I die. Enough of me, here watch it yourselves....

I always wanted to be a star. When I was a kid, I wanted to be in everything. Not necessarily be "in" like trendy but I want to be always in the loop. Sometimes, I do crazy things just to be noticed.

What is it like being the "star"? Everyone around you knows who you are. Just hearing your name would get reactions like "Ah yeah I know him" or "Yeah, he's from _____, right?". Everyone does know you. BUT, does everyone like you? You may be popular, you maybe a household name. But who is around you? Who holds your hand and says nice things about you even if you're not around?

I just learned one thing, the hard way. It's better to be at the background, laying low and keeping things "steady", rather than be in the spotlight and wither away.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”

- Marcus Aurelius

I came across some blogs of some people I know (not from the blogosphere..I mean really know like friends, office mates, the like). Majority of them rants about work. I understood why they felt that way, because at some point I felt that way too. There was a point where I thought that I was going through a battery test everyday. Have you felt like everything that you are doing was, is, and will be wrong? Yeah, exactly what I felt too. I already did everything that I needed to do but they still look for something else to shove up my ass. I'm drifting away from the topic....

Well, I just have one thing to say to the people who rant about work. Everything is about PERCEPTION. What is Perception? It is defined as "the act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind". Too long. One word meaning...."understanding". It is how you understand things around you. It is how you see things. It is how you react based on a physical or psychological stimuli.

Now that it is defined, what is the common ground there. In the last three lines lies the solution, YOU. It is, was, and always will be YOU. YOU have to change the way you see things. Why? Because one thing that you have to remember in solving any kind of problem is to start with what you can control. Do not dwell on things you do not have control over, you can't change those. And in this situation, what is that one thing that we can control. Yourself. You have to change what you are seeing, or at least look at it from a different angle. If you are pissed at someone, instead of focusing on the what he is doing to annoy you, why don't you focus on why he is acting like that. Maybe he has a problem at home. Maybe he just got himself into some deep shit and he is asking you to join him. Maybe it's Let's-make-every body's-day-like-hell day in his own little planet. Once you have the reason, understanding will follow. Once you understand, then you can change your perception of things. Then the healing will begin, you'll start to feel better. And the people around you will start feeling better. And the people around them. So on and so forth....

It's really hard at first, but once you knacked the first one, it'll be a piece of cake. And this skill is a life saver, too. It'll relieve you of some stress, making you a more positive individual.

I know, it saved mine....=)